What do you get when you mix together one giant shark, one giant octopus, sprinkle it with a helping of Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas?
You get a heaping helping of stinking film goodness!!
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A "Syfy original" film made by
TheAsylum Pictures brings together aging pop star Deborah(Debbie) Gibson and
Renegade himself Lorenzo Lamas to star along some of the worst CGI known to man along with the best that 1940's-50's school of set creating had to offer!
Frozen in ice 80 million years ago the title stars find themselves quickly freed by a government experiment that Ms. Gibson's "Emma MacNeil" happens to be illegally in the middle of while she takes a joy ride in NorCal Oceangraphic's research sub. (You see, Ms. Gibson is a scientist.
)
It is not long before whales start washing up with giant teeth marks and Japanese oil rigs are 'mysteriously' destroyed. The U.S. government (in the form of Lamas) recruits Emma McNeil along with her old college professor, Lamar, whom she sought for help and Japanese scientist Shimada (Who was secretly investigation giant octopus attacks) to help to contain the situation. You see the 2 big sea monsters have apparently been destroying a whole lot of things, but mostly off camera with the exception of the best and my favorite scene in the whole film. The giant shark leaping out of the sea to grab a passenger jet out of the sky!!!!! YES!!! You read right! OUT OF THE SKY!!
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(This is the last thing you will see before a shark eats your plane.)Before long we find ourselves in gratuitous 'scientist-pouring-things-in-beakers' mode. Finally in a post coital flash of brilliance (Don't ask) they devise a way to lure the beasties to a place that they can try to capture them. San Francisco bay for the shark and Tokyo bay for the octopus. Sounds reasonable.
Well, after stock footage of a Navy destroyer (with a bridge made from a hall way of a power plant and a couple of navigation props set in front of it) attempts to destroy the shark...yeah, the capture thing sort of falls to the wayside pretty quick, the shark escapes the trap and takes a bite out of the Golden Gate bridge out of spite.
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(Yeah, traffic is going to be hell)The Japanese has just as little luck, again off camera, and the squid escapes as well.
So a plan is devised to lure the creatures to each other and let them finish the fight they started 80 million years ago. Why they didn't just re-start that fight when they were first released is never answered.
After a lot a bad submarine action, (the subs have amazingly similar bridge designs as the Navy destroyers by the way. If it weren't for the periscope in the middle of the room I'd swear they were the same hall way
) our heroes(?) succeed in bringing the 2 monsters together and they do ended finish the fight in a repeated scene of battle. Repeated at least 3 times but at least one of those times they flipped the picture so we wouldn't get completely bored.
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The most frightening moment of the film comes at the end as they give the slightest hint that we may be in-store for more adventures from this unlikely group of heroes!
5 out of 5 bloated whale carcasses!!
. I can only imagine she works cheap. As for the brainy British dude, he thought that displaying tension required him to look like a constipated chimp trying to take a dump while the Steven Seagal clone (complete with a pony tail 
